nutshell

sometimes when i look back, i can't believe how crazy and confusing my life has been since i left whittier. since the very beginning everything was up in the air, life was like searching through a forest and looking for a deer to kill. that's how i've felt for the past year. i'm still trying to erase from my mind the first apartment i moved into, and i'm happy to say that only lasted for about a month. then it was the search for another job besides my internship, and then it was my experience as an intern. (and as i said before, it was terrible) there was yummy, which was the longest job i've ever had, but also the strangest. the people i worked with, the mistakes i made with the people i worked with, and my realization of my rusty social skills. then there was my second apartment which i lived at for six months, which was actually ok. i got the privacy i wanted, i was able to tolerate one roommate, but i fucking hated the other. and the longer i stayed, the more i would despise him. and the most anticipated event of winter, which was my trip to iceland which put me in a very new position in my life. but i must admit, while i was in iceland, i didn't want to leave. i was scared to go outside by myself, but i really felt at ease there. i felt comfortable..i remember the feeling of having to go back to los angeles. i dreaded it everyday, i was hoping the day would never come.

next was the mess after i finally came back to california, the TERROR that i knew would await me. things have improved since january, but NOT MUCH. that's how bad it's been. i had to look for another job, and i've wasted so much precious time. i've accomplish two goals so far. moving out of the old apartment, and buying my plane ticket to miami. the chapter titled "job hunt" was disastrous. but maybe i shouldn't say that, because i finally landed a GOOD JOB. a job i know i'm capable of. i've been through 4 different jobs since i came back. four jobs. that's crazy. and i quit them all for good reason.

the restauraunt- it was bootcamp, it was to much to take in for a first timer. how feasible is it for me to memorize nearly 300 items in a week, and give excellent customer service FLAWLESSLY.

the dnc- what a hellhole, a dungeon. i considered myself a slave being able to dance out in the sun for 10 minutes out of a 9 hour shift and then being constantly whipped to call careless donors.

the "other dnc"-they keep hiring people but what they don't realize is that they dont have any more space.

the club- i'm not subjecting myself to anyone.

but let me just put the past behind me because there is nothing i can do to change it. what's the point in dwelling. all i can do is focus on what i'm able to do in the comming months. i'll have an easy going job, it''' be constantly busy so i don't get bored, and the mangers seem to have taken a liking to me. im just gonna go from here and move on