ég er koma aftur!

fyrirgefdu. i knew i wouldn't really be able to update my blog while i was in iceland..i just knew it! gudni doesn't have internet soo. it was quite the task. but i'm back..and to no one suprise i still very much dislike it here. but anyways, i can't possibly sum up my three month visit. it was wonderful. it was..quite the change in our relationship. i love him more then ever. we came to the conclusion to finally make the move. i've realized that despite the radical differences between me and iceland, i'd much rather be there. i want to be with gudni, and i'm ready to start my own life now. i have yet to upload all my pictures, but i'll do it soon. i met some really interesting people, and my was the weather beautiful! now it's time to put in for my papers. that's the next hurdle. i have a feeling things will be fine.

now the only thing keeping me busy here is this presidential election. god..i wish mcCain would just fuck off already.

acid food

how could i have neglected to say this on rhubarbidoo! gudni told me about two weeks ago that sigur ros AND bjork, are holding an outdoor concert in iceland, and guess what. were going! words cannot express how i felt! not even those damn exclamation marks. i have always wanted to see sigur ros..i never had the opportunity, and now i'm going to see them in iceland with my love. i couldn't ask for anything better!!!

bamboo panda

i need to remind myself to bring my camara when i walk to the crossings. i saw this random bamboo tree with long yellow limbs just..amongst the greenary. it stood out so much, i didn't even know we had any bamboo trees growing in the wild like that. and finally i took the bus to school and i didn't pay 1.50. no..i refuse. the operators don't seem to care either. so.. 75 cents it is!

salt liqorice & tart pie

yesterday i went to jeff and clara and that was fun. jeff grilled these huge pieces steak on the grill to eat. it was the biggest piece of meat i've ever eaten in my life. we had some corn and sauce and rice, it was good food. i told them about my trip to iceland and we realized that iceland and sweden have alot of similarities, despite how different they are. both love salt licorce (yuck), both provide guests with food and drink, both like to use herb salt and boil potatoes, and alot of other things. it was fun comparing words and etc. clara showed me a huge map of sweden and showed me the county where she was from, and where she went to school, which happened to be the next village over. she told me about the university in uppsala, and malmo. then i ate this amazing tart pie she baked. i loved it..i must get the recepie. haha get it.. recepie? :o)

then jeff whipped out the photo albums and i saw pictures from the 80's. lot's of hammer pants, flat tops and mullets. yeah..unforgiving fashion. i left with a swedish magazine to pan over..and i promised to send them a postcard from iceland. i'll see them next in august!

can i have a taste of your ice cream?

barbara and i decided to go out to a club that maria was promoting. i wasn't expecting to have a good time, but i actually did. but not without getting completely trashed. i mean completely, i was gone. eddi and maria kept handing me drinks and i just kept drinking them. long island ice tea's and mongolian motherfuckers. after that i was dancing and just letting loose to the music, i had a good time! all of a sudden all that alcohol hit me and i walked to the bathroom but i wasn't able to come out. maria and barbara came in and had to help me put my pants up :oD the club had already closed and they were just waiting for us to leave, so they both had to carry me out. haha makes me laugh just thinking about it. barbara kept telling me to act normal because there were cops outside. and i was like "uuuuhhhh yeeaahhh oook" after walking to the car i decided to lay down on the street because i was so dizzy. then it all came out..

after that,they carried me into barbara's car where she gave me a hug bag and said "throw up in the bag!!" haha after we made it home, barbara's roommate had to carry me in the apartment and then i said "uuuuhhh i'mm not really likke thiss" lol. after changing clothes and going to bed, i woke up next afternoon feeling alright. but later on throughout the day i had a headache, and my stomach wasn't feeling to snappy..but now i feel ok. barbara says to come AGAIN tommorrow. i don't know..

7-up days

i've come to a realization..i'm miserable here. it's not miami, it's not the weather, it's my mom. i can't live like this.. i can't live my life this way. i'm not happy here.. i don't know how many ways i can put it. why should i stay and tolerate this? our mother daughter relationship is not getting any better as i thought it would..

it's getting worse.

i've given up..i think it's time to move on. i thought nearly two years of not seeing her would be ok..but nothing has changed since i've been back. well, at least i know that. i think it's time for me to really move to iceland. not 4 years from now but..now. or as soon as my paperwork goes through which might take awhile. (about 3 months) i can pick up the language while i'm there..and be truely happy. all gudni and i want is to be together..

i'm gonna make that happen.

hour long moccasins

guðni got an apartment! he told me it's huge and i can't wait to see it. i'm so proud of him :o)

took my placement tests. passed english of course.

math..eh not so good.

i decided to walk to MDC which was about an hour long. it's not the most enjoyable experience, but it's defintely do-able. if i'm ever gonna do that again then i'm gonna need better shoes. my feet have blisters on them owww

i should get a vintage bike to get around here..

i've seen some good ones on craigslist for like $100

back to tropical palms

well i'm finally back in miami. it's strange to be back home. i see everything with a new set of eyes. things seem much cleaner..nicer. i still have to get used to it all though. i have to adjust again. let's start the iceland countdown. can't believe i'm leaving next week!

10 days til i see my love

karma

30 women and children from Palestine were "accepted' into the Icelandic town of Akranes but let's read between the lines here. as you and i both know, they're far from ever being accepted. but anywho, this man, Magnús Thor Hafsteinsson MP for the Liberal Party and former chairman of the office of social affairs in Akranes was whole-heartdly against these abused people coming to Iceland to just live in peace. Here's his statement.

“Based on the short notice we were given, little time for preparation, not enough information about the people and their background and the current situation in Akranes, I don’t believe it’s the right time to agree to accommodate refugees. As chairman of the office of social affairs, I cannot recommend this” Hafsteinsson wrote in Heimaskagi.

“This is impossible.We are talking about 60 people in two years in a village where the budget is tight. To even think of bringing people in from refugee camps, who have experienced so much and have to be under constant care of the administration of social affairs, is nonsense. This would mean that the total amount of foreigners in Akranes would rise to ten percent of the entire population, ten percent of which would be refugees.”

...“It is our main duty as a community to care for our own people[…] I’m not going to look into the eyes of our people and make budget cuts while accommodating around hundred immigrants at the same time. If the community of Akranes wants to help people; we should rather aid the Red Cross or those organizations that work in refugee camp, instead of bringing the problem to our town”

ok Magnús right. you're telling me that the richest nation in the world..and i repeat, IN THE WORLD cannot accomadate 30 women and children who have been suffering under constant fear and torment for their whole lives? has this guy no sympathy? why are some people like this? they just have no regard for anyone else if their any bit different from you. enough with all this separation, we as human beings cannot live life this way anymore. we all need to realize that we are not cavemen anymore, we have reached the level of intelligence and wealth where we do not need to compete with each other, or fear what is different. (or maybe not) we need to help people who need it, and that man should be ashamed. these are people here, like you and me with feelings and emotions. this is there situation. put yourself in it! treat people like you want to be treated! were more alike then different. if something massive were to ever happen in iceland, and no one would help you, because they're " to concerned with their own problems" how would you feel Magnús! how would you feel if no one wanted to help you?

i can feel what is wrong

i had a good day at work people were friendly. i don't know..something in the water. but i was chatty with an australian lady from melbourne, she was pretty cool. i've met so many different kinds of people just being at the register! i've had danes, french, japanese, korean, chinese, colombians, mexicans, australians, british, and some other people whose language i couldn't quite figure out. i said my final final goodbye's to rizali, and i'll be back on friday.

moving along..i was listening to "something wrong" by bang gang, a song i love. i was hearing the lyrics and i'm pretty sure it's about wanting to commit suicide

i can feel what is wrong
i can do what you want

can you feel what is wrong?
can you do what you want?

above all the clouds

i can't cry anymore
can you hear what went wrong?

help me to feel my soul
help to end it all

i have mixed feelings about suicide. i must admit, living this life is tough. there always to be something wrong. happiness seems to be a rarity. is it supposed to be this way? i've been happy at times, but it seems to come with a price. why is it so easy to be upset then joyous? why is it so prominent in our lives..and so easily distinguishable? i was raised to believe that suicide was a sin, it was cowardly, it was selfish, and unthoughtful. i can understand why it may be selfish, but besides that why can't someone take their own life without discrepancy? unless you really understand their point of view, which is nearly impossible, why continue tormenting yourself living in hell? i wouldn't condemn anyone to keep living if they didn't want to. death is the only way to achieve true peace within yourself. (unless you can achieve nirvana somehow) and i don't see how i can do that. but you know what, i think i just inspired myself to try. i'm gonna look into buddhism..

i can understand why someone wouldn't want to be here anymore. i get tired of it too, i wish to leave it sometimes. but i always want to come back too. so it's confusing. i still have this everlasting hope within me. it's really all i have. i wonder why it never ceases to fade. i know if it ever does dwindle, it'll be the end of me.

anyways, i met a very nice dude waiting at the bus stop. he also works at the mall, macy's to be exact. we talked for the whole trip, he was from northern california, so that explains it. he was openly gay, and i appreciated that. i think people need to start being a little more truthful to themselves. he got off la brea to go buy some booze. well.. i'm sure he's having fun.

i should really go wash my face, i', starting to break out a little but a part of me just doesn't care anymore. but i'll wash it..yikes my face gets really oily.