fireflies

im tired. barbara walters is on conan o'brien. i'm gonna go to bed soon. watched the first half of "gone with the wind". not to bad, but prissy's gotta go. rachel made some stuffed peppers but they came out a little bland. i put some salt and pepper and they were fine then. all the flavor was in the juice which leaked out with you cut the pepper.. but she did a better then what i would have done.

goða nott.

soft soft or cruel

rizali rizali "oh i'll miss those times we sharree" we instantly became friends when bernard refered to his bad as a "murse" aka man purse. yeah those were the days. today we had to close the store, but we were so tired and we both wear boots that make our feet really hurt. we had finished our zone but..there were some laggers so people had to help them finish putting the clothes back. well not us, so we hung out by the panties and made our comments.

i called gudni today. the first half of our conversation was wonderful, the second part not so much. i had to go "there" and mention his ex which kills the mood between us completley. the world turns much darker.

you just have your eyes closed

thoughts just randomly come to me. i should have wrote about this months ago, but only now do i really feel like typing it all up. meeting gudni that day was such a new adventure. it was full of anticipation and just being clueless about what the future held for me. it was the fork at the road. the flight to minnesota from los angeles was fine. the problem was that we had the circle around the airport three times to ensure a safe landing. i was cringing the whole time, because my flight to iceland was departing around the time we were landing. just thinking about it now makes me stress out a little. as soon as we landed, i had to make my way to the other terminal at the airport. it was about thirty degrees outside and snowing. this airport was one of the largest in the country, i was freaking out the whole time, running from one place to the other..with two bright green suitcases. jesus. just to get OUT of the terminal i landed in i had walk for about fifteen minutes. i felt like a lifetime. i followed the signs and found myself in a puzzle. i had to take a tram, but i couldn't figure out which one..luckily..a pilot was headed my way and showed me. bless him. so i waited at the station for the train to take me to the next terminal..i was prepared for cold weather, i had my scarf, my two jackets on and my boots..so standing at the station was alright despite the snow. finally the train came and i ran towards the iceland air booth. they saw me running and asked if i was jasmine. i said yes! yes! and they said "go up the stairs they're waiting for you!" so i ran up the stairs and lo and behold it's the minnesota tsa. so they asked to see my id whcih i showed them..and oddly enough the girl was really curious at my california drivers licence.. and i took off my shoes..and then found the main gate for my flight. they were boarding..i was right on time! the flight had been delayed. once again they called me up to the front..i took care of that..and finally boarded the plane.

i sat next to this old icelandic couple..go figure right. we didn't talk for the first five hours but surprisingly they broke the ice and they happened to be very nice. they welcomed me and asked if i was going to iceland..and we talked. they were cool. it was interesting being on that plane..even waiting in line to board. it was the first time i was hearing so much icelandic..and even seeing icelandic people. it was so exciting. seven hours later we landed..and that's when the real fun started. just remembering my anticipation and my excitement..it still puts a smile on my face. kleflavik was like a maze..i walked past the smokers room..to a long corridor..picked up my luggage which came out first..surprisingly. and proceed to find gudni..wherever he might be. i was so shy to look up..i was wondering if he was gonna randomly pop out or something. i had no idea what to expect. i kept walking until i had the exit doors and i saw a bunch of people waiting..i saw him. there was no way i could miss him lol. he was standing right there. he was so tall..and blonde lol. he was wearing his big puffy green jacket and his black sneakers..his hair was neatly combed. he smiled at me..we hugged. i was so nervous..i wondered if he liked me..i asked myself if he thought i was pretty? but we hugged again and again..we couldn't believe we were finally seeing each other! i was never scared though. everyone was looking at us..or maybe just looking at me, but that was the least of my worries. he wanted to go outside and smoke and so we did. i remember raising my arm to play with his hair. he dodged my hand! like a scared cat. i thought he didn't like me. i asked him about this later on but he said he was so shy to be around me. i guess i can't blame him. but i knew he liked me when we boarded the flybus. he touched my leg..and he held my hand tightly. i was so happy :o) he had showed me some of the sights outside the window..even though it was still dark outside. it was truly the start of something beautiful. it was pure innocent love.

forward and reverse

dorothy, matt and i are gonna meet up next week and go out to eat. i'm thinking "el cholo" where me rachel and her friend from went out to eat. it's traditional mexican food and the waitresses wear dresses :o) but it's a nice place to eat and relax, so we can catch up on things. i haven't seen dorothy in a long time. she's definitely one of the people that have helped me to become a better person.

oh! and i saw twila at the store while i was on my way out. what are the chances..after i walked out of the dnc, she didn't bother comming back either. yeah..torture.

untitled I

there's a ghost of a boy
standing by the water
a lock of hair tied to his ankles
there's a trail of footsteps on the ground
crushed leaves painted with colors

they're the barren trees
limbs cracking to fierce winds
it's the rationality of natural beauty
there's the look of his face
as he sees what is there
barren land but full of hidden life
like his own

it's his emotions and his actions
absent
much like an empty vase
there's a fire miles away
burning the field but hurting no one
it's what he left behind that brings him here
with his toes pointed towards copper mountains
here lies his silent sense of content

late at night

late at night when gudni and i would be together he would go to living room, still completely naked and smoke a ciggerette. he always had the door open(no matter the weather) so the smoke would go outside but it was still open enough to see that he was stark naked-- if you looked at the right angle..

i wonder if anyone ever saw? :o)

sugar and stress

has its ups and downs, mainly downs. it reminds me how much i cant stand certain types of people. well..most of types of people.. all people? no, i won't be that harsh. but deep down i do feel that way. maybe it's just the girls that shop at xxi..but i doubt that. out of say..300 souls about 5 of them are just normal nice people. and those five are the ones that have the ability to make my day more enjoyable. i can't say it's just "los angeles" where girls are bitches though, it's just everywhere. some people suck in miami.some people suck in los angeles..fuck some people suck in iceland. it's just a fact of life..people are strange when your a stranger.

i'd rather not be at the register..i'd rather just be in my zone and fix the clothes. maybe help people occasionally. that'd be nice. my time is just about up at the store anyways, i put in my two weeks. and i'm proud of myself for formally quitting. (for the first time) if i were staying in california, i'd definitely stay at the store..but it would tough. working there is tiring, im suprised some people have it made it to a year.

hmm

oh joy!

i got paid today, and it was way more then i expected. that'll always brighten my day. all the money will be gone by tommorrow.

haha just kidding.

allt i lagi

so i got in touch with my mom and things are ok for now, but we all know that'll change within a matter of weeks. nothing really new going on, just gearing up to finally leave los angeles. lucky me, i'm gonna have to fork over 50 bucks to check in a second bag. thanks delta.. i still haven't written anything new, but i haven't really been trying either.. but i HAVE been finding some really great new music :oD

all the same words

i'm trying to find inspiration for another poem. i want to write something simple. something that has alot of meaning without saying much. i like poems that can be interpreted in many different ways. i was writing that mermaid piece but...i don't know. i guess i'll keep working on it. it's just that sometimes i think my lovelorn poetry is kinda lame sometimes.