goin' on down

i love south park. i've seen nearly every episode. i remember i even put a kyle sticker on my surfboard. i got bored and i made this of me and guðni. they're carbon copies! :o)

half giraffes

i woke up to the sound of guðni calling me, it was only twelve o'clock at night but i had fallen asleep watching south park around eight or nine. lame i know, but i just feel the need to go to bed that early. it's not because i'm twenty going on eighty years old or anything. i know it's a mix of things..adjusting to the time, and just being bored out of my mind. tracy texted me to come over around eleven thirty, but i told her i wouldn't be able to make it. i don't really know how i feel about tracy. she's a cool person but i sense something unusual about her. i do like her charm though, it's like that of a child. she's really cute and bouncy and intelligent but i think los angeles just got to her. she's going back to connecticut on thursday, and i don't blame her at all. what confuses me is that she always backs out of conversations when it concerns anything that's not a fantasy. when there's discussion on politics..the united states..the world. she just..changes the conversation back to people being half giraffe or something. but don't get me wrong, she's a great person..and an artist at best. i wonder why she didn't ask me about my trip to iceland, or why she seemed so disinterested whenever i spoke about it.. maybe it's just me. i know i can't really judge anyone, i have my flaws to.

she moved out to la with john, and i think the motive was to experience something different and see where john could with his musicial talents. the odd thing about all this is that john just finished getting professionally recorded. now he's actually able to send demo's..but he's going back to connecticut. this place is filled..absolutely filled..with people trying to make it one way or another. it really is like this. actors, musicians..they're all here. the funny part is that most of them suck. john was pretty talented though..but after a year of being here, tracy had gained twenty pounds and was getting depressed. so she's decided she's just about had enough. i've had enough to. i'm just glad i didn't gain the forty pounds.

this is boring now

i remember when the internet was such a brand new and exciting thing for me. especially because i was always so bored all the time. sometimes t.v isn´t that great either you know. when was that..? 1999 i´m sure. that´s when i got my first computer. oh yeah and how did i get it? well apparently i needed it for "school". but anyways, the internet. i was obsessed with it. fucking obsessed. day in and day out, all i would do is be online. but now, its going on..almost 10 years, and the internet is just downright boring to me now. yeah yeah you can do this and that, get lots of information..watch videos on youtube..but still. it´s boring after awhile. it´s much more fun to be with people..and..get drunk or something.

ahhh this is my last day in iceland. im not looking forward to los angeles at all. im not looking forward to working again..im not looking forward to seeing people i really don´t give a shit about. but at least i know i won´t be there long. at least i know..there other things out there for me. so it´s comforting in a way. but what a mission i have to look forward to. moving back to miami would be so much simplier if it wasn´t for my car. it´s like a child..i can´t just up and leave without it. my car is the only thing keeping me in la. so i need to get $850 dollars to move it across the country. blahh. at least they gave me a discount.

keep your curtains open

that´s one of the things I like about this country. No one keeps there curtains closed. you can see inside people´s apartments, see there christmas decorations..see the color of their walls. the living room across from me is red. that´s bold. it´s new years eve, so i think that calls for getting shitfaced but i´m not sure. guðni´s working until 11 o´clock, but this is iceland, and people here don´t exactly go to bed early.. there´s much to talk about that´s for sure. i´ll get to it eventually..

crickets

I haven't written in this blog for awhile. I got a little lazy, and some things I really wasn't ready to discuss. I guess it's not so much of a big deal now. hmm, so where should I start? I talked to German boy yesterday and that was nice. He's starting college in Berlin so he's got his own place and everything. He'd much rather me come to Germany. I definitely plan to. I don't know when though..perhaps next year. I do want to go to Iceland again, and I have no problem dropping another thousand for another trip to Europe. It's all worth it to me. get me out of here.
I remember it was with Felix that I told him I was to go to Iceland back in highschool. He thought I was crazy. There's no way I could blame him though, in a way, I didn't really believe it myself. I'm glad to make a dream reality. If this is possible, then other things in life may be possible as well. I don't think I should doubt myself to often. I have no idea where I'm headed. .On to other experiences. ..

I've been seeing imaginary crickets out of the corner of my eye lately. and no I'm not crazy. It's just I've been overcome with a cricket invasion in my room, I've seen about 3 over the past 2 days. And a spider. I know it's because I keep the door open sometimes when I go outside, or even when the day is nice enough. I had to kill two yesterday. I felt kind of bad, I hope nothing happens to me in the grand scheme of things..but I just don't like insects..in my room. :o/

opium tea

I'm feeling much better from the Opium tea. I don't think I'll be trying that anytime soon. I don't think the high was worth the pain I felt the next day. I was completely bed-ridden. I couldn't move, I wasn't able stand, or sit up, nothing. I just wanted to sleep forver..and possibly die. I've never felt so horrible in my life. And to top it off, I was still told to come into work..heartless bastards. The managers understood my pain, so I took it easy. No one seemed to mind..except for the over emotional drama queen aka TR. The high felt alright, my body was relaxed, but not anymore relaxed then what two bowls of marijuana could do. I was expecting something a little different, or perhaps more intense? Maybe it was the quality. The poppy seed pods looked like little maracas.. Two days later I feel much better, but I'm still recovering.

hourglass

The roommate has his friends over again. I think this is something I better get used to. It's alright though, I have my music to distract me.-courtesy of my Princess Leia headphones. One of the girls mentioned something about time, and how she doesn't believe in it. Her argument was that time was irrelevant because it doesn't seem to be consistent with our emotions. I know, that kind of doesn't make sense to me either, but here's an example. When you're happy to be somewhere, time goes by quicker. If you were sitting at your office, time seems to slowly creep. So..time doesn't exist because it's not consistent. I guess I understand what she means, but I think it's a ridiculous statement. Time does exist, no matter what way you put it. Even though clocks define this structure we as humans have created for ourselves, time exists because we have always relied on it as a resource to survive. Before the industrial revolution, human beings were more attentive to the patterns of the sun and moon. When the sun rose, that's when your day began. That was the time to plant your crops, tend your livestock, you know all that peasant shit. The concept of time is nothing new..without it..I don't think we would be here.

That reminds me of my own perception of time. Whenever the hurricanes would knock the power out,(which they so often did..and for weeks at a time) the nights would seem so much longer. Because of boredom, and lack of modern "electric" opportunities, I always felt that there was nothing else to do but sleep when the moon rose. I felt each hour. Sitting in the dark with only one candle, it really gave you time to contempate. The days were just as unforgiving, but at least we had the light of the sun to do whatever needed to be done. There wasn't as much restriction as what's given to you by night. So it's interesting to contrast life with and without electricity. I can see that in the present, we move so fast. Because of this structure, it's so easy to miss out on life itself. I don't believe "life" is your "job/career", or the "commute". I believe, nowadays, life is interaction, and communication. What else is left? Survival isn't as harsh as it once was. (first world nation speaking). I say this as I try to get a handle on my life, and how rapidly I feel it's moving. and I say this as I lay down alone, in my room, with no other opnion then my own--no one to refute me. Time exists.. it's subtle with every passing moment, it's quiet- you barely realize it's even there, it heals- you realize that the past is irrelevant, and it demonstrates itself in many forms. Whether it's the ticking clock, or the patterns of the sun and moon.

fridge poetry

How I spent my afternoon.

i hate work

I think I take my English pronunciation for granted sometimes. But I guess we all realize that when we try to learn another language. I came into work about 30 minutes early so I decided to finish my Ben and Jerry's ice cream outside. Driver Dan gave me a copy of his cd. He has a band called "The Warlords of Rock and Roll" It's like a comedy music act. I have yet to hear it but I soon will. While I was sitting outside I noticed how nice the weather was. Breezy, the sun was slowly setting, everyone seemed to be out and about after a week of 100 degree torture. How easy it is to forget amongst the neatly trimmed trees by the boulevards that your in desert territory. There was a dirty white Mercedes in front of me, and when the owner came out he had about 7 shopping bags and a tub full of pretzels. He seemed to challenge me with his glare, as if my Ben and Jerry's creamy Vanilla posed a threat to his army of crunchy rolled dough. I quickly looked away. Then a lady walked past with a stroller and 2 kids sitting in it. I think there were 2 girls, one of them smiled at me, which made me feel a little bit better. It's always nice with a child smiles at you. She was really happy about something..sitting in her stroller singing songs.
Then it was back to the pit, and I bought a 99 cent bag of chips because I'm involuntarily fasting.
Why can't everything be free?

the quest to innith and outeth

I felt so restless earlier, I needed something to do. Read? Eh, I just didn't..feel like it. If I stay inside my room to long I'll start to get a little agitated. And these iron bars over my window don't seem to help the situation either. I decided to invite myself to a fun filled adventure to the In and Out Burger in Studio City. GoogleMaps said it would take about 7 minutes but I knew that was a lie! It was no problem though, it was 11:30 at night and the 101 Freeway is quite enjoyable then. I didn't want to go to the one in Hollywood because everytime I pull up I always get the same fucking guy taking my order. He's gonna think I'm some In and Out freak..

Which I am, but no one has to know :o)